Pulses
by AlternativeRocker
Summary: Robbie goes on a raid but is distracted whilst thinking about his girlfriend so he misses vital changes to the plan. Slightly angsty for once. Robbie/Jackie.


**A/N: Yes it's another one shot from me! I really like this one though although I did think I was being a little cruel to Jackie in it "/ Flashbacks aplenty at the beginning of this!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them however much I would love to.**

*******

**Pulses**

*******

"Jacqueline Reid?"

"Yes, that's me. Sorry I was just doing something." She said breathlessly down the phone,

"Are you the emergency contact for Detective Inspector Robert Ross?"

Jackie was getting worried because this was the first time that both of their full names had been used in one conversation, "Yes...What's happened?"

"I am Gillian Redpath, I'm a paramedic and I'm sorry but on the raid there was a mistake made and Mr. Ross was shot in the abdomen." Jackie dropped the phone and covered her mouth to muffle the noise of her sobs. The paramedic knew what had happened so hung up, she heard enough of these kind of reactions to not feel too emotional. After the night Jackie had just had, she thought nothing could go wrong.

*******

"_You have to go. You promised Burke."_

"_But I don't want to leave you." He said as he ran his finger down her jawline._

"_Robbie, I'll just have a bath and find a book to read until you get back. Nothing remotely interesting." She was planning on doing something else but had decided to wait until after to tell Robbie._

"_Everything you do interests me." She rolled her eyes as she stood up and threw his jeans at him._

"_Get dressed now!" He looked at her with a disappointed pout but because she was used to his lack of enthusiasm for anything that didn't involve herself, she tightly shut her eyes and walked out the room, tempted to go back and kiss him but chastised herself for being so easily pulled in by him._

_When he found her on the couch in her living room he sat down next to her, pulling her to him, and said, "I don't have a good feeling about tonight, Jackie."_

"_That's what you say all the time."_

"_I mean it this time. I'm worried about leaving you."_

"_Robbie, I'm staying right here in this flat, nothing will go wrong!"_

_He gently ran his hand up her bare skin above her hip, _"_So remind me why you aren't being forced into doing this raid."_

"_Burke already had got you, Stuart and all the back-up involved and he said that he didn't need anyone else. You're late as it is so go!" She said as she pushed him off her._

"_Will you be awake when I get back?"_

"_I should be, unless the book bores me and there's nothing good on TV."_

_He bent down and softly kissed her lips, "Fine. Bye. I love you."_

"_Bye. Love you too." She couldn't halt the smirk that threatened to overtake her face as she ran water and got towels for her bath._

*******

_Robbie was the last officer to arrive which was to be expected since they all knew he had a new girlfriend, they just didn't know her identity, "So Robbie, you did remember about us when you were with your new chick!"_

"_She had to push me out off the door or else I wouldn't have came here. And she isn't 'new', we've been dating for four months."_

"_Oh so this one understands the importance of timekeeping in a police raid?"_

"_You could say that."_ She has been on a few herself, _he thought to himself_.

*******

"Jackie?" She woke up with a start and wondered where she was. Then she saw Robbie lying in the hospital bed and everything came flooding back.

"Oh hey Stuart. I must have drifted off," she said while discreetly rubbing her face to get rid of any sleep or proof that she had cried herself to sleep.

"When did you get here?" She looked down at the clock next to the bed,

"About four hours ago according to that machine," she was surprised at how late it was but sleeping at any time was becoming normal for her, "Why did no-one accompany him here?"

"Burke thought that continuing with the raid was more important and since Robbie caused it himself the boss didn't think he was worth it."

"Robbie's own fault, how?"

"You've got to have noticed his lack of attention over the past few months because of this new woman he has, we had been getting briefed and he must have zoned out when we were getting told about the change of circumstances. It's all down to him thinking about this new girlfriend."

Tears started to spill down Jackie's cheek as she whispered, "It's all my fault." Her own words were coming back to haunt her, _Nothing will go wrong. _He had been worried about her own safety, neither had thought about the dangers that he was facing on his task.

"Is there something you're not telling me Jackie?"

"I can't carry on without him. What have I done to deserve all these people in my life dying? He doesn't even know I'm pregnant!"

"I don't even know you're pregnant!...Are you his secret girlfriend?!"

"Yes. Four months we've managed to hide it now this happens!"

"Why didn't either of you say anything? I've been the biggest fan of your relationship for years."

"It was just going so well that we didn't want anyone to spoil it," She carefully picked up Robbie's arm and kissed where his pulse was dully thumping. It was their sign that they were thinking of each other.

*******

_The team had been in the process of arresting a suspect when he tried to make a run for it, knocking Jackie down on to the floor. Stuart and Matt had went after the man while Robbie knelt down beside Jackie asking if she was okay. She had just smiled weakly as she nodded, trying to ignore the cut that she could feel on the back of her head. He held out his hand to help her up and she thanked him. When she was back on her feet she noticed Robbie hadn't let go off her hand. She looked up and he lifted her wrist to his lips._

"_As long as I can still feel that pulse, and long after it's gone, I'll always love you Jackie."_

_They had spent their first night together after that, and at work whenever they needed to reassure the other or just when they needed comfort themselves they would kiss their own wrist._

*******

"Well my view is that people who have some chance of living make a choice if they want to stay in the world or not. That's why, in my opinion, people go into comas; they can't make their mind up or it's still not clear if they can survive."

"So do you think Michael had the choice?" She didn't know why she was dragging the past up but she had never heard of this suggestion for comas before.

"Jackie you have to know this is what I believe, nobody else; I think Michael did get a chance to stay because it wasn't death on impact, it took time for him to drown."

"But then why would he decide to leave us?"

"Maybe life had just got the better of him, we all saw that something had happened that last day with the drink." Those images of the empty alcohol bottles had haunted her since that morning.

"I guess so. It's just that he was my best friend, I don't see why he wouldn't talk about his problems."

"Jackie you're being a little hypocritical aren't you, how many times have you hidden your big problems from me or Robbie?!"

She sighed, "I know, I know. Sorry."

Stuart went over and wrapped his arms around his best friend.

"Stuart I know this is the cowardly thing to do but I can't face telling the boss about mine and Robbie's relationship, so do you think you could do it for us?"

He was going to refuse but knew that she would only be asking if she was desperate so agreed. Jackie mumbled a thank you before turning her attention back to Robbie and starting to build up tears again. She didn't think that she would be able to cope with a child if she didn't have Robbie with her.

*******

"Hi Jackie." Burke had visited a couple of times since finding out about his two detectives' relationship and each time Jackie had been there; she did go home every two days to change and wash, and also went to the doctors if she had to for the pregnancy check-ups, but that was about it. She couldn't handle staying in her silent flat with all it's reminders of Robbie but without the man himself.

"Hello," She was exceedingly tired but could never fall asleep when she needed to and when she did, it would be restless and filled with nightmares. She knew that she should be trying to stay healthy for the baby but on the other hand she still felt as though she didn't want it if Robbie wasn't there.

"Any changes in his condition?"

"Nope," She broke down in tears and it was the first time Matt Burke had ever felt as though his strong and feisty DS Reid was starting to fall apart, "I just want him to wake up sir. That's all I want right here and now."

"I know. Have you been eating properly?"

"I've been trying but my appetite's gone." He had a horrible feeling that she didn't really want to try to keep herself in good form and he was worried and angry at his friend and colleauge,

"Jackie this is the first and the last time I will ever tell you this but there are too many people in this world that won't manage without Robbie and even more that won't be able to carry on without the both of you, and I'm not even going to get into a discussion about the child that you're carrying and the dangers that you're putting it through now!"

That was the telling off that Jackie needed to decide to pull herself together, even just for the sake of letting this baby have the best chance of life. She left the hospital that night, after kissing Robbie on the lips for a second, and had a proper meal and tidied up her flat, throwing out any rubbish that had appeared over the past two weeks. She had a sneaky suspicion that Stuart may have let himself in a few times to give the place a wipe down because she had imagined it to be a lot worse. Then she wrapped herself up in the cold duvet that she had just changed and got some well-needed sleep whilst gently rubbing her stomach telling the little thing inside her that they would be okay.

*******

She was still visiting Robbie every night but she hadn't took any bad turns since the incident with her boss. On this occasion she sat in her normal seat and held her love's hand and started to whisper, "Robbie I love you and you have to wake up soon. You can't go now because I can't do this on my own."

After three weeks of constantly being at his bedside she felt what she had wanted. A tiny squeeze of her hand from him. She looked to his face and saw his eyelid fluttering open while automatically moving her other hand to the side of his face.

"Robbie?"

"Well who else would I be?" He said and even though his voice was croaky she could sense his laughter through it.

"I thought you might have grown out of the sarcasm while you've been out of it but I see not."

"You sound just as lovely as normal." She knew she should get a nurse or doctor but didn't want to leave him because she had missed him so much.

"How long have I been 'out of it' for then?"

"Three weeks and two days."

He looked at her seriously, "So what's new since I've been in that coma?"

She placed the palm of her right hand on her stomach and his eyes followed it down and saw the hint of a bump, his eyes widened in surprise,

"Are you...Are you pregnant?"

"Yes, if you had been at all conscious during these past three weeks you wouldn't have heard about anything else. I found out on that night." She had promised herself not to smile when she told him but she couldn't help it. However, she was shocked when his face began to mirror her own. The grin that had exploded on his face just gave her more reason to smile.

Just then a nurse came in and did a retake when she saw that not only was the patient awake but he was grinning away like a maniac. It was also the first time that she had saw the woman next to him smile and considering she had been monitoring the man since he had been brought in, she had saw every other emotion the female had shown. She could sense that neither of the couple had been this happy in a long time and she suspected that it was something to do with the thing underneath the woman's top, that the patient was desperately trying to reach out and touch. Instead he settled on kissing his partner with all the might that he could. The hospital worker hoped that it would work out for this family in progress, she knew they were both police detectives and she could gather that they had both went through some horrible things in their lives but it looked as though it was finally looking up for them.

Robbie kissed Jackie's pulse point on her wrist and her smile, if poissible, got bigger.

"I've missed the feeling of your pulse, darling."

"Well I've just missed you in general!" She was careful not to pull out any of the wires that were connected to his body and hugged him, letting a few tears roll down her tears, just happy to be able to have him close to again.

I'm going to be here forever. I could not and would not leave you, ever! And now with this baby on the way you think I would let you raise it by yourself, God you would bore it to death.

She glared at him but softened her look when she realised that he was telling the truth, he didn't actually want to leave her and if Stuart was right with his theory then she felt as though Robbie may choose life if he ever had to for a very long time to come.

**The End.**

**A/N 2: Did any of you actually think I would be able to write one where one of them died?! I think my brain wanted it to end badly but I just couldn't; I'm an expert at ignoring my brain!**


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